Review: Lumberjacked by Rich Bottles Jr.

In his debut novel LUMBERJACKED, Rich Bottles Jr. takes us on a nightmare trip into Appalachia, where bloody death awaits at the hands of mountain-dwelling locals. But don’t expect a hackneyed riff on WRONG TURN or DELIVERANCE here, as the twists and turns LUMBERJACKED takes go beyond mere hillbilly stereotypes–or common decency.

The premise, however, is a classic slasher formula. A group of college freshmen–beautiful, nubile, constantly horny college freshmen, I hasten to add–embark on a scenic tour of rural West Virginia (on the anniversary of what is locally known as “Skull Fucking Day”), where they run afoul of a pack of good ol’ boys possessed by the spirits of murderous lumberjacks. Buckets of gore spill in myriad, imaginative ways, but Bottles’ brand of “humororrorotica” avoids being predictable with plenty of detours and misdirections, none of which can be described in polite company.

Bottles’ style is as broad and crude as a dirty joke on a men’s room stall (it makes Edward Lee’s redneck stories look like Shirley Jackson–and I mean that as a compliment), packing his tale with kinky sex, unashamedly over-the-top violence, and ludicrous, VERY politically-incorrect humor. Yet he keeps the action moving smoothly and never fails to be entertaining.

For fans of backwoods bloodshed, LUMBERJACKED goes down like a fast-food banquet–quick, hot, and satisfying.

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