Archive for bizarro

Review: Vegan Zombie Apocalypse by Wol-vriey

Posted in Books with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2013 by Scott Emerson


(Full disclosure: Wol-vriey is a fellow Burning Bulb author, having been published alongside me in the anthologies Westward Hoes and The Big Book of Bizarro, and BB editor Rich Bottles Jr. gave me a copy for review.)

Those looking for the standard Romero-esque “Lock the doors, the zombies are coming!” story will want to search elsewhere; you certainly will not find what you want here. But if you’re jonesing for a new, fiercely imaginative, and disturbingly erotic take on the living dead, Vegan Zombie Apocalypse will provide a rich feast.

In the future, zombies are unable to consume flesh, and must use human bodies to harvest blood potatoes for sustenance. That’s all the further I’ll describe the plot, as most of the fun in VZA is discovering the myriad twists and twisted concepts Wol-vriey whips out. Not content to merely turn well-worn zombie tropes on their head, Wol-vriey creates a staggeringly bizarre sf landscape peppered with memorable characters, breakneck action scenes, and enough deviant sex to stuff a dozen books. (Seriously, Wol-vriey devised some sick-erotica scenarios that boggled even my jaded mind; I loved it.)

A taste for bizarro is probably required (by the third act Wol-vriey’s throwing out so many insane developmentsnt that the book threatens to go off the rails), but adventurous readers with a fondness for weird sex will find Vegan Zombie Apocalypse a rare treat.

Amazon currently has this on sale. Get your copy here.



Posted in Books, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2013 by Scott Emerson

Westward Hoes

Now available from Burning Bulb Publishing, the bizarro western anthology WESTWARD HOES. Edited by Gary Lee Vincent ad Rich Bottles, Jr. (who previously brought you THE BIG BOOK OF BIZARRO), it features nine decidedly demented tales of strange and unspeakable debauchery in the Old West. Most of the authors involved also appeared in BBoB–like Wol-vriey, who contributes the novella “Big Trouble in Little Ass”–so if you dug that one, you should enjoy this, too.

My story therein, “Succubi Sundown,” contains probably the most bizarre sex scene I’ve ever written.

Order yours from Amazon for $12.99 here:

Review: Tall Tales with Short Cocks Vol. 2 edited by Arthur Gelsinger

Posted in Books with tags , , , , , on December 30, 2012 by Scott Emerson


Not satisfied with its first offering of the weird and irreverent, TALL TALES WITH SHORT COCKS returns with a sloppy, slimy vengeance. Bizarro Press’ second anthology assembles 15 oddball tales chock-full of strange humor, off-the-wall imagery, and singularly bizarre concepts.

Like many multi-author collections (especially in the bizarro genre), the results are mixed, but TTaSC2’s hit-to-miss ratio is commendably solid. Highlights include Eirik Gumeny’s “The Ballad of Billy the Squid” (chronicling an octopus-headed boy’s foray into the Japanese adult film industry), Danger Slater’s “The Apple of my iPhone” (you know those people hopelessly attached to their Apple products? What if the feelings were reversed?), Vincent K. Sakowski’s “The Legend of a Ho Named Walrus Sounds,” and Nick Cato’s “Necrocandy,” a sort-of zombie tale as gross as it is funny.

As with the previous volume of TALL TALES, most of the stories rely on humor—particularly of the crude and vulgar variety—so readers on the lookout for serious or cerebral writing may be disappointed. (Though with a title like that, would they be surprised?) Those who like their fiction gross and giddy will have much to feast upon.

Review: Baby Jesus Butt Plug by Carlton Mellick III

Posted in Bizarro Brigade, Books, Writing with tags , , , , , , , on July 14, 2012 by Scott Emerson

(Review for Bizarro Brigade.)

Y’know, I’m not going to summarize the plot of BABY JESUS BUTT PLUG, because you’re either going to be on board for a fairy tale about cloned Jesuses used as marital aids (and the zombie offspring they produce) or you’re not. If you are, you’ll enjoy this warped little fable about corporate dehumanization and familial yearnings, and the way Mellick simply yet colorfully spins his tale. Yes, BABY JESUS BUTT PLUG is fundamentally a short story with large typeface and illustrations to just barely justify a book-length page count, but it’s also highly entertaining and holds up to repeat readings. And in the canon of Bizarro lit (has it really been around long enough to have one?), it’s an important part of the genre’s infancy.

Review: Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy by Bradley Sands

Posted in Bizarro Brigade, Books, Writing with tags , , , , , , on July 13, 2012 by Scott Emerson

(Review for Bizarro Brigade.)

I really enjoyed this collection of surreal snippets, but SORRY I RUINED YOUR ORGY might fall under the “Advanced Studies” section in the bizarro genre. Casual readers or those dipping their toes into the bizarro waters may be off-put by Bradley Sands’ Dali-esque snapshots of the absurd, at least at first, but with an open mind and a warped sense of humor most readers should find the book a strange but rewarding literary adventure. Most stories barely qualify as flash fiction–some running as short as a single paragraph–so if a particualar piece isn’t too your liking, it’s over quickly, and with a robust table of contents one is certain to find something they enjoy. Reading this book is a lot like being a bee flitting through an otherworldly flower bed.

Sands is a unique voice in the already-singular world of bizarro lit, and SORRY I RUINED YOUR ORGY offers a wide selection of his weird and often humorous talents.

Review: Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by Cameron Pierce

Posted in Bizarro Brigade, Books, Writing with tags , , , , , on July 11, 2012 by Scott Emerson

(Review for Bizarro Brigade.)

Conjoined twins 999 and 1001 are laborers in the prison camp of Auschwitz, building bicycles from the corpses of kidnapped children under the tyrannical rule of the Ass Goblins–farting, butt-shaped aliens with a penchant for cider made from fermented kiddies. With their captors frequently drunk of child-cider, 999 and 1001 plot their escape, only to find much weirder obsctacles in their path.

Perhaps the most astonishing thing about ASS GOBLINS FROM AUSCHWITZ is that it manages to be shocking and audacious without going too far–think of the notorious Nazisploitation films like ILSA, SHE-WOLF OF THE SS tempered with absurdist, cartoonish humor (a device that somehow both magnifies the horrific elements and makes them palatable). Pierce adds a number of clever details–black, swastika-shaped snowflakes that fall on the camp, toilet toads, and the mutation after-effects on some of the Goblins’ medical experiments–but he also weaves a whimsical, almost Lewis Carroll-esque side trip into the proceedings as if to acknowledge, and alleviate, some of the book’s grimmer elements.

While it’s definitely not for all tastes, ASS GOBLINS OF AUCHWITZ has become a classic in the bizarro genre, and for good reason–it’s a fast-paced, wickedly original story that delivers the same guilty pleasures of a grindhouse-era cult film. If there was a college course on modern-day bizarro fiction, this book belongs on the syllabus.

Review: Tall Tales with Short Cocks: A Bizarro Press Anthology

Posted in Books with tags , , , , on July 10, 2012 by Scott Emerson

Bizarro Press serves up nine off-the-wall offerings with this anthology, featuring a roster of up-and-coming writers eager to show off their imaginations and descriptive skills. The results are decidedly mixed, but readers with a taste for the weird should find something to their liking here.

Highlights include Jon Konrath’s “The Zombies of Kilimanjaro,” an unconventional take on the living dead, Wol-vriey’s “MouseTrap” (a sordid domestic drama that defies simple description), and John McNee’s bizarre hardboiled homage “In the Flesh.” In these stories you’ll find the unconventional concepts and unusual writing that makes the bizarro genre unique.

However, how much one enjoys TALL TALES will depend on one’s tolerance for jokey, juvenile stories. There’s little going on here that’s being taken seriously (not neccessarily a bad thing), but readers in the mood for something more mature and substantial may find some of the tales lacking. (Case in point: Adam Millard offers a story called “HELP! MY ASS HAS RABIES!”, in which a monkey contaminates a fast food joint with an ass-centric strain of rabies that escalates far beyond the boundaries of good taste or common sense. If that scenario doesn’t appeal to you, TALL TALES WITH SHORT COCKS will probably not be worth your time.)

But for those with a taste for such absurdities, this book contains multiple treasures.